At DTW – Detroit Airport:

1) -1130- This place is huge. I’m freakin’ starving! Gonna find me some nourishment.

2) -1252- That’s the fifth guy I saw with an iPad. (Bastard! I hate you!) I want one.

3) -1300- You know, I’m not much into “people watching,” but man, these people are crazy!

4) -1309- Good God, Sir! I don’t think your friend on the phone is deaf. Can he not hear you or you just like attention?

5) -1322- I learned this guy’s life story and medical condition just because he talks so loud on the phone. Maybe I should do the same and blurt out about my epileptic anus.

6) -1327- Nevermind. I farted on him.
I’m leaving.

7) -1333- Been listening to Tenacious D this whole time. It really fills my heart with Heavy Metal Rage!

8 ) -1400- Alright. Gonna board soon. The Pilot is here. I think he’s drunk.