My awesome friend, Anne from Herschelle.net sent me another set of postcards from wherever in the world she was in.
I have mentioned this many times before on all my social media handles, but let me tell you how much this one means to me.
I have not been in a good place mentally lately. And by “Lately” I mean a couple of years. (Maybe three or four) Everything seems to be not going my way.
There has been a lot of disappointments, heartaches and hurt.
Music hasn’t helped. Binge watching and binge eating hasn’t helped. Even prayers didn’t help.
I have been so angry and furious at everything that I seem to be numb and desensitized from any joy life can bring.
There is always something to mess you up, no matter how much you work, strive, pray and hope.
But today was different. When I got these cards in the mail, I got reminded of good friends. Good friends who lift you up even when they’re thousands of miles away. Friends who never forget you and truly know your worth.
Anne here had to go through the trouble of picking these postcards. Taking her time to write, then go to the post office, spend money and mail them. People like her are rare and should be cherished.
I do cherish her a lot even though we haven’t seen each other in years. She never gets tired of sending me these cards and I would never take it for granted.
Thank you again, Anne. Your kindness and thoughtfulness has truly made your friend’s day.
You see, the thing about me posting old stuff is so that I can recollect what I was in my past.
Don’t get me wrong. I hate being reminded of the shitty things that happened in my life. Or the shitty things I have done on purpose. This post is not about those.
It’s about the good ones. The good ones are more than welcome.
Like this Video I recorded. It reminded me that I used to play guitar and can actually sing a complete song.
It also showed me that I read the Twilight series books, as seen on that bookshelf behind me. Yes! I actually read them as opposed to the other “To Read” pile of books on my GoodReads account.
Oh, and that shirt I was wearing. I LOVE that shirt! I still have that to this day.
Sure, it may be so worn out and plagued with holes, but I still wear it. Unlike Jacob from Twilight who refuses to wear one, but that’s beside the point.
My point from all of this is that I am old and need to be reminded of who I was from time to time.
Contrary to popular belief, I actually do have friends.
Sure, all of them may be thousands of miles away from me, but that’s not important right now.
Jojo is one of those friends who still tolerates me and was kind enough to provide the lead voice on this Filipino Classic we covered 14 years ago today.
It’s a song by Sharon Cuneta titled, “Kahit Maputi Ang Buhok Ko.” (Even when my hair turns gray/white)
Basically, it’s a song about one’s promise of love even when they grow old and their hair turns gray.
Much like how my friends still like me even though my hair is all gone. But that’s also not important right now.
Anyways, check out this song and our other song collaborations.
Thank you so much @Strawberrywish. I am lucky to have known you too. Such a kind and admirable person you are. Happy Day of Love! ?? https://t.co/8wXO2orFlB
Let me tell you a story about what I’m feeling today.
Some of you may know that I haven’t seen my kid for more than two years. The reason why is for another story but let me tell you something else right now.
Back in early 2000, we planned to visit Mom in Ottawa after a couple of years living in Florida. It was a very long road trip I will never forget.
As I was pulling up to Mom’s driveway, I saw her push the people around her from her massive front glass window, and I noticed her jumping up and down at the door, clapping her hands.
I could already hear her voice yelling at her partner to go out and help us with the luggage, as she continues to jump up and down, I was almost sure her head almost hit the door frame from excitement.
I didn’t really understand what she was feeling, but in my mind, the jumping and clapping was a bit too much. Or so I thought.
Until today.
My son is just about to land in Toronto and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.
I haven’t jumped up and down yet but I have been pacing the floor so much, my Apple Watch asked me if I was working out.
I had to sit down to calm myself. Too bad for all the people who chose to sit beside me because I immediately engage them into a conversation mainly telling them that I’m about to see my son whom I haven’t seen in two years.
Sure, they got up and looked for another place to sit but that’s not important right now.
The important thing is my kid is almost here and I finally understood my Mom’s excitement back then.
It’s the joy and relief of seeing your kid (or grandkid) safely arrive after years of absence, in your arms. With the tightest and warmest hugs.
This Christmas, I got what I want.
**UPDATE — he just landed.
Let me go to the washroom. I can jump up and down there.
A couple of days ago, my good friend, Mike shared a YouTube video of mine into our Viber group chat.
I suppose he was just browsing some videos and it popped up on his feed.
Mike is also a very talented artist with an awesome voice. We used to sing together as well. We often break out into song to the annoyance of everyone around us.
Then yesterday, my other good friend, Maita messaged me and told me that she heard another song I covered not too long ago.
Maita is also a music enthusiast. She has a good ear for music and even learned guitar at one point and was actually very good.
She told me she heard this one and remembered me. At a grocery store of all places.
As a musician, I feel honoured when my friends listen to my renditions or if they tell me hearing some songs reminded them of me.
It actually made me pick up my guitar and started playing again.
But, as usual. It sounded horrible, ghastly and empty. I suppose that’s what you get from a guy who has fallen out of love with music.
So, I stopped.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love listening to music or watch other musicians play. It’s my music playing that has gotten horrible in the last couple of years and quite frankly, I feel like it got tired of me too.
More like, “abandoned” is how it truly feels.
Playing music is like a prayer to me. The notes I hit come from within. All I ask is that for it to be heard. Lately it just ignored me. It has turned a deaf ear to my cries.
Much like my prayers, I guess.
Oh well. Maybe someday. I’ll pick up my instruments and play again.
