That is actually the title of a Paul Gilbert song.

It came on my iPod today while I was driving
and it made me remember one of my crazy mannerisms.

I always have a tune inside my head,
and I use my teeth to play them out.
I grind them according to the beat I’m thinking of.

It never stops!
My teeth is an instrument I constantly play.

It goes on and off the whole day sometimes without me knowing.
And by the time I notice it, it’s because it has given me a headache.
I’m pretty sure I grind my teeth when I sleep too,
synchronized with my R.E.M. state.

I tried redirecting this by playing the beats through other means.
I whistle.
I hum.
I tap on the desk with my fingers.
I move my feet in a rhythm.
I play with my zipper just like a DJ scratch.
I tried them all.
It doesn’t work.

As much as I love music,
There has got to be an easier and effective way to stop this.

Or else, with all the music I keep on playing in my head,
I’ll end up with no teeth and just a nub.
I don’t know what a Nub is, but it sure sounds like a gummy mouth.

I can’t accept that.
I have to have teeth.
I like to eat corn.