I understand you’ve been running from a man,
that goes by the name of “The Sandman.”
-America

Let me introduce to you my new friend.
The Sandman.

In traditional folklore,
The Sandman is supposed to lull you to sleep.

It is said that he sprinkles your eyes with sand or dust,
causing you to go nite nite.

Well my friends,
this new friend of mine,
apparently likes me a bit too much.
Because he freakin’ sprays my eyes even in the brightness of day.

I try to sleep enough hours at night,
but I just can’t seem to keep myself awake in the morning.

He doesn’t care if I am busy at work,
having lunch,
or just having a conversation with a co-worker.
I am seriously close to having a locked jaw
with all the yawning I do.

He loves me a lot particularly when I am driving.
It doesn’t matter if I blast my radio and sing like a madman.
My eyes would twitch, begging me to shut it.

Numerous times at a stoplight,
the guy behind me would honk his horn,
telling me that the light is green.
With a couple of swear words I’d rather not tell.

I don’t know.
I write this thing jokingly here,
but it’s really not cool.

It’s hard work really.
Trying to stay awake and focused.
It’s both maddening and exhausting.

What do you guys recommend?
Besides injecting my arm with caffeine.