I know why the Senators Lost the Stanley Cup.
It’s not because they played bad.
It’s not because they weren’t good enough.
The reason they lost
is because…
I wanted them to win.
I don’t even know why I even bother to hope.
That is “Life’s” funny way of kicking me in the balls.
Hostie! Toi, mon tabarnac de ciboire de St. Sulpice,
tu me fais chier en christ!
Crap!
I need help to pronounce all that.
(Sorry about that.)
Now I go to the bathroom and weep.
Well,
as I come out of my dark place,
where I was in complete solitude.
Pondering my life’s dilemma.
And praying to the Holy Trinity,
Britney, Paris and Lindsay.
I realized, that the only way for me
To keep on going
is to pick up the pieces
and play some music.
So here’s a little bit of Jazz.
Pick Up The Pieces
by The Average White Band.
(Jeff Golub’s Version)
Mobile Player here:
I don’t know what it is,
but playing this song
makes me want to drink some refreshments.
And by refreshments I meant “alcohol.”
But I’ll drink it with a straw.
Because, I am “classy” like that.
We lost Game 4.
I’m going to be in my dark place for a while.
That’ll prevent me from punching myself in the spine.
I’m going now.
We’ll see how it goes on Wednesday.
Finally!
A win!
The Ottawa Senators won game 3.
Such a sweet victory on home ice.
And Finally.
NBC decided to cover the Stanley Cup playoffs.
It was a good thing they showed it too.
Because I do not think I can handle anymore aggravation,
not being able to watch the final hockey series.
Game 1 was not televised, since the Miss Universe pageant was on.
And that one I didn’t mind so much,
because I like to look at beautiful women.
(Hey! I am a guy. It’s in my DNA.)
Plus watching the pageant was educational for me.
At the beginning of the show,
the ladies wore their country’s national costume.
Miss Canada wore a hockey outfit with a hockey stick at hand,
Miss USA wore an Elvis suit, with a guitar at hand,
And so if Miss Australia was wearing nothing but a bathing suit,
I am soooo moving there!
Game 2 was not televised as well,
Since NBC decided to show a marathon of the
“Most outrageous moments in television.”
Now I like comedy.
But I do not need a tv marathon to remind me how dumb people are.
If I wanted to be reminded of that.
I’ll just take a drive around this town.
Go to the nearest mall.
Or just look at my next door neighbor.
Man, if you think humanity can not get any dumber,
I’ll introduce them to you.
But, Alas!
Game 3!
I have watched its full entirety.
Even though my Senators gave me quite a scare,
trailing behind the Ducks for most of the first two periods.
They played an amazing game.
They deserved to win tonight.
I also realized that as much as I enjoy watching a hockey game,
and how much I complain about these TV stations
not giving it enough attention
or air time,
maybe it’s better that way.
I realized how emotional I get when I watch it.
I end up screaming and talking to the TV,
Like I invented the game
and act like I am better than all of these players
and the coaches combined.
I do this wearing my Senators outfit and hat.
Hmm.
Come to think of it.
Maybe that’s why my neighbors look at me
like I’m some sort of a weird dumb freak.
No matter!
My Senators team won tonight!
At least I go to bed with a smile on my face.
Ramenons la coupe!
Sénateurs d’Ottawa.
Memorial Day 2007
Thank you to all the Men and Women,
who have given their all.
So you and I can hear the sound of Freedom.
Breathe the air of Independence.
And taste the sweetness of Liberty.
Thank you, Sir’s and Madam’s.
Thank you.
Happy Birthday to you Uncle Sly!
You know I just realized,
how you have influenced me with regards to my Rock music taste.
Influenced my desire for I.T. Technology,
and how I dealt with people, back in the day
when we used to work together.
I noticed that,
the only thing I haven’t gotten from you,
is your involvement with Wrestling.
I guess, I still can’t fathom the fact that it is rigged.
Plus I can’t think of a wrestling name for me.
How about T-Bone Gordo?
Happy Birthday, Sir!
All the best to you.
Are you?
Season Finale in 1 hour!
Ate my dinner.
Did my chores.
Played with the child.
I am ready.
Nothing will make me leave my seat,
while this show is on.
Nothing.
Wait.
I better pee.
**A big thanks to Maita for the shirt.
I don’t normally write about the shows I watch on this site,
because from my long years of TV watching experience,
I have learned that every thing I say about anything,
has an equal and opposite criticism.
That’s why I try to keep my mouth shut.
Now if you have been following my writings,
you know that that previous statement is a lie.
Ty:
“I’ll take STORY OF MY LIFE for $400, Alex.”
Trebek:
“Answer:
The reason why the Senators lost game 4.”
(Ty presses the buzzer!)
Ty:
“What is:
Because I wanted them to win.”
Trebek:
“You are correct!
You never get what you want.
You’ll never get what you want!
Life hates you!
Bwahahahaa!!
Mwwaahahhahaa!!!!”
Trebek is “Da Debil.”
And “Da Debil” is my best friend.
