We have searched high and low,
We have searched far and wide,
We have feared our hearts are torn,
Will you help us find the missing corn?

Click here —–>

I guess that’s what you do when you turn 18 months old.

It’s incredible how different customs and traditions are
when it comes to events and holidays.

Christmas, Halloween, Easter….
Everybody has their own way of spending these festivities.

Today, after church,
We were going to paint the eggs for Tyler to do his First Easter Egg hunt,
but we decided that he is still too young to help with the painting.
Well, actually, Tracy decided that.

Because, I have no clue.
I have never really participated nor experienced any Easter egg hunting in my life.
We do not do this in the Philippines.
At least not when I lived there.
And I was just too old to partake in this hunting gig while I lived in Canada.
So I never really know nor understand how a kid feels at Easter time.

See back home in the Philippines,
we celebrate Easter very early in the morning.
At dawn, and in Church.
We call it the “Salubong” (the meeting).

It is basically the highlight of a procession of both the images of Jesus and Mary,
meeting for the first time since the Lord resurrected from Death.
Their images on a big float, which came from 2 different points in town.

Then when they meet, Mary’s black veil will be lifted and replaced by a white one.
This is where the event organizers do the main show,
They sometimes train doves to take off the veil,
Or dress up a little kid as an angel and make them remove the veil and replace it.

Pretty neat, really.

Then, after the mass, we all have our breakfast with real Filipino delicacies.
Puto Bumbong, Bibingka, Palabok… and many more.

Hey hey hey, You know me.. I like food!!

But here in North America,
People do it differently.

First everyone goes to church, or better known as “The Great Fashion Show”.
Then this special day is celebrated by hiding all the Easter eggs,
tell the kids, a certain Rabbit hid them,
and everyone races to find as many as they could.
With prices to win, and fun times to experience.

As long as nobody forgets the real reason we celebrate this event,
It’s all good, I always say.

I am just worried I might mix up all the traditions and practices I have acquired,
while living in different places.
And tell the stories to my grandchildren ….

Grandkids: Grandpa, what is Easter?

Me: (in a husky grandfather voice)
Kids, Easter is the day when we celebrate how the Lord died for the sins of mankind,
because they cannot find the hidden eggs, and then at dawn, He rose from the dead,
came out of his tomb, saw his shadow and we had 6 more weeks of winter.

It really is funny how the mind works.
You know yesterday was the start of Daylight Savings Time,
and you know you’re going to lose an hour,
so you better make sure you go to bed early and get some sleep.

But it doesn’t work that way.
You know you can’t just lie down and sleep right away.
You know you’re going to do some thinking.
Also, knowing that you have to wake up early the next day
does not help one bit.

Does this happen to anyone out there too?
Where you can’t sleep just because you have to wake up early the next day?
Or you think too much?
Think of different things? All at the same time?
And none of them doesn’t have anything to do with one another.
You know what I mean”¦?
Like”¦

First you try to get comfortable, fixing your pillow, your bed, your blankets, then you think about what happened to your day today, was it a good day or a bad day, did you lock the doors up, turned all the lights out, you feel your back ache from washing the car, Man, I am getting old, especially how I get out of breath just by squatting down and trying to scrub the tires; at least I got the oil changed the other day, Tyler’s doctor drives an H2. Man, I am in the wrong profession; maybe I should go back to school and start something else; $30 Dollars for a basic Oil Change? You got to be kidding me!?, Man, my back really hurts; What was that sound?? Maybe we got ghosts here? Hey that movie Hellboy must be good huh? They are the ones who bump back in the night. Matrix Revolutions is coming out on DVD on Tuesday, I got to get that one; Crap, I need to get the second one too. I need another place to place all my DVD’s. Maybe I should get another rack; I could use the one I have now for something else, God, I can’t wait to get back to work, so I don’t have to feel bad buying stuff for me, We need to save money for the wedding too; I am so excited to finally marry Tracy; I also need to get in shape; I would look ridiculously funny in a tux if I am out of shape; Crap, I need to find some Tux rental place; I wonder why Linux chose a penguin as it’s mascot; Screw the get in shape plan; I am in shape, round is a shape; It’s hard sometimes to play guitar when your belly supports the back of your instrument; come to think of it, it’s a nice way to relax your shoulders from the guitar strap; Oh man I want to get a new guitar; I miss my Fender Strat which I left back in the Philippines; I wonder how my friends are back there; Sometimes I wonder if they miss me too; I know Darwin, my best friend does, he constantly keeps in touch; John, Anthony and Eric does too, I wonder how they are as well; man, I remember all the gimmicks we had; If I had a penny for every time we cut school and hang out; I need to start thinking about Tyler’s college education; He’s got another tooth coming out, the kid is growing like a weed; I just can’t find a comfortable position, my back is killing me; What time is it? Oh God , I need to get some sleep; If I ever catch this jerk who drives by in his Bike and revs up so loud it annoys the crap out of me; I also hope those guys with whooping sound system in their cars goes deaf or impotent for playing it that loud; I was once young but there is no need to play it that loud at 2 in the morning; also the asswipes who screech their tires at the Wal-Mart parking lot; who are they trying to impress? Do they know who shops at Wal-Mart? You always find the most annoying; weirdest; obnoxious; unbearable people at Wal-Mart; Those fire ants in our backyard just won’t die; Where are they hiding their queen?; I need to get some stronger fire ant killing stuff; maybe I’ll go to Wal-Mart tomorrow. I’ll try to get some printer ink as well; Maybe they sell guitar strings there; Of course they do, They’re Wal-Mart; I love that store; I wonder how much is a single bed; If our mother’s come here for the wedding, where are they gonna sleep?; We only have one bed; I Need to go to sleep! Why can’t I sleep?; Why can’t I play guitar like Sambora?; Maybe if I turn to my side it would ease the pressure off my back; Maybe I should start drinking so I could go to sleep faster; I am afraid I might get used to it and have a drinking problem; Maybe I’ll go to rehab or die from overdose like those famous musicians; Presley, Aykroyd, or Cobain; Man, if I was married to Courtney Love I would kill myself too; Oh man, I got so much stuff to do tomorrow; Maybe if I fix this pillow right, I might fall aslee…. ZZzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzz”¦”¦

Is it just me or am I just Nucking Futs?

You know,
Planning a wedding with very limited money is not an easy task.

Not to mention having less than 2 months to prepare.

So Tracy and I are trying to embark upon this challenge,
the same way we deal with every other difficulties we have encountered.

One Step at a time.

Yesterday we have finally purchased our rings.
And what a task it was.

See for guys, all we need is a ring that is simple.
We don’t care about diamonds, carats, designs, color,
gold, white gold, yellow gold, silver, sets,
solitaire, cathedrals, depth, symmetry,
flouresence, table, crown width, clarity, girdles, culets,
Casting Quality, Prong Quality,
Channel Settings, Metal Quality, and Gemstone quality.

None of those.

Us guys only want is a ring that’ll fit.
That’s it.

Except for me.

I want my ring to be gold,
Preferably made in the fires of Mount Doom.
With writings in some form of Elvish,
and the language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.

Top reasons why you would let your wife/husband/partner cut your hair.
(or whatever’s left of it)

1. You are too broke to get a haircut.
2. You are too cheap to pay for a haircut
3. You are too lazy to go out and get a haircut.

All wrong!!!

Correct answer is”¦”¦

You have accepted that you are “OWNED”!!! —->

No matter!
I saved myself 15 bucks!!!

A couple of nights ago,
We were having dinner,
We heard someone knocking on our door.

As I checked to see who it was,
I immediately saw the flashing red and blue lights.
It was the cops.

I opened the door, and the officer said,
“Hello. Good evening. We received a 911 call from this residence.
Is everything all right?”

I said, “Really?” while scratching my head,
trying to remember a memory that wasn’t there.

The Officer replied,
“Trust me sir, I wouldn’t be here if we did not receive a call.”

Now, Tracy approaches the front door as well.

“No sir, I am sorry. It wasn’t us”
I responded back with a baffled look on my face.

Tracy said, “Well, we have a toddler….”

Immediately the officer replied,
“Ah! That must be it. It happens.”

He now has a smile on his face,
while I can feel the embarrassment on mine.

He also added,
“We would rather be here and see that everything is fine,
rather than something else. Have a nice night then.”

“Thank you, officer.”
I said, as Tracy and I looked at each other, closing the front door.

That was quite embarrassing.

See, whenever we change Tyler’s diaper,
we have to have something called a bribe.

Something for him to hold and play,
just to distract him and not roll over and fight us.

It just so happens that the phone was nearby,
and it was the only thing we can give him to get his attention.

He likes playing with anything that beeps, or makes a sound.
So I guess that must have happened then and there.

Now I was thinking.
There are ten possible numbers (0-9),
On ten different places, (0123456789)
Which would mean there are:
If my math doesn’t fail me,

10,000,000,000 possible combinations –> 10 to the 10th power, (10¹⁰)
The Kid just happens to press the 3 dreaded numbers.

Then, I did some more thinking.
(Shut up! It’s either ponder about stuff like this or watch Oprah.)

Anyway, I was saying,
I started thinking,
Maybe Tyler really did press those numbers.
Maybe it’s a cry for help.

“Help!! Get me out here!! These people are crazy!!”

Moral of the story?

I am bringing Tyler next time I play the lottery.

Now here are some cool links to take your mind off this crap.

Here’s a bloody version of the yeti-pingu game —> Yeti Gore
Transforming Ytterbium Replicant Optimized for Nocturnal Exploration —> get your Cyborg Name
Meet Mili and Tary (A yeti game spin off) —> Mili&Tary
Blue balls to the Left —> Red Ball Blue Ball
The Simpsons in India —> The Singhsons

You know what I hate about these terrorisms?
You know what it is?

It’s a “Sucker Punch.”

And you know who does “Sucker Punches?”

Cowards!

“Eternal rest, grant unto them, Oh Lord.
And let your perpetual Light shine upon them.”

Sometime in September of last year,
We visited Tracy’s folks down in Kansas.

We drove around,
seeing new sights,
enjoying the sceneries.

Road trips tend to take it’s toll.
And somewhere, somehow,
When you gotta go,
You really have to go.

So I asked Tracy’s Mom if there would be any washrooms nearby.
(“Restrooms” as they are called here in the States.)

So her sweet Mother, pulled over to this convenience store in the middle of nowhere,
And told me to go in there and use theirs.

So I did.

I asked the Lady who was standing on the other side of the counter,
if I could use the restroom. Politely.

She grinned, sighed, and rudely told me:
“Ugh!, It’s only for customer use.”

I said, “You mean, I have to buy something before I could use it?”

“Well, Of course!” She answered swiftly.

So, I tried to be smart and quickly thought of the cheapest thing I could buy.
“I’ll take a pack of gum then please.” I said proudly.

“That’ll be $1.99”, as she pressed the cash register.

“Two dollars?” I shrieked.
I thought I peed right then and there.

“Uh huh!” She said with a hint of victory on her tone.

“Fine then.” I whispered.

Accepting my defeat,
I handed her my two dollars,
put the gum in my pocket and hurriedly used the restroom.

I go back to the car, and told everyone that it cost me 2 dollars
to pee in that little store.

Then it hit me,
I realized what I had done.

I politely did what I was told,
and used the facilities like a normal, decent human being.

What I should have done,

Was to pee all over the floors,
Smear soap all over the walls,
Leave the faucet running,
Spit on the mirrors
And throw the toilet paper roll in the toilet bowl.

That would have been cool!
That would have been 2 dollars worth.

But I didn’t.
Why?
Because I am a nice guy.

Why do I say this?

While I was up there in Canada,
I have to go through an interview at the US Consulate.

I am usually tense and panicky whenever I go to interviews,
Not to mention government officials.
But this time, I was relaxed, tranquil and calm.
Because I have all the papers I need with me.
Mine and Tyler’s.
And I have dealt with the Canadian government so many times
that this will be just a breeze.

So anyway, we got there, and of course you go through security and stuff,
Then you take a number.
When my number was called,
It says I have to go to window 3, which is at the far end of the room.

Fine.
So I grabbed all our paperwork, medical reports, security certificates,
And this big-ass X-ray film envelope that you can’t fold.

I picked up Tyler, who was trying to run away from me,
thinking it’s time to play,
I run to the said window.

Then this lady at the other side of the glass,
was gesturing to me to hurry up.

A short lady, with thick glasses,
probably of East Indian descent, with a very strong accent.
(I have nothing against them, just describing the lady for a more believable story)

She has that “annoyed” look on her face,
and kept on doing that “hurry-up” gesture with her hands.

This usually bothers me, but I let it go.

Then she started to ask for my papers, randomly.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to look over through papers,
With one hand, while your 16 month old kid keeps on squirming all over.
I can’t put Tyler down because he will run away and play with other people.

So she asked me, “Are all these papers yours?”
I said, “Well, me and my son. But he has dual citizenship.”
She said, “So he is American?”
“Yes Ma’am.” I replied.
“What do you want me to do then?” She said rudely.
I said, “But it says on the letter that I received,
it states that he should undergo all the necessary procedures along with mine.”

She ignored me and says,
“No, I don’t have anything to do with him.
Give me the forms that you filled out.”
Quite rudely and still doing that “hurry-up” gesture with her hands.

This usually bothers me, but this time, I let it go.
Remember, this conversation was taking place
while I kept an eye on Tyler who was playing with the lady on the next window.

I tried to sort out the papers and handed it to her.
Accidentally, I included one of Tyler’s papers.

She went ballistic!

She almost screamed and said,
“I told you I only need your papers!”
As she shoves the paper back to the window slot.

I said I was sorry, but she added,
“Next time! When I ask you for your papers, I mean just yours okay?”
in a condescending tone.

She must really think I am stupid
because whenever she tells me something or gives me instructions,
she insisted that I repeat what she said.

This usually bothers me, but this time, although my fists were clinched, I let it go.

Then she said,
“Okay, go to Windows 25, pay this fee,”
as she hands me a piece of paper,
“then come back here, I won’t be here, but leave your receipt here,
then go back to waiting area ‘C’ “.

“Okay Ma’am.” I said.
As I picked up all my papers and carried Tyler.
Then she looked at me funny, and again told me to repeat what she said.

Now, there was this evil voice inside me that didn’t want to shut up.
But, I politely did what she wanted.
I repeated what she told me. Word for word.

What I should have done,
Was to mock her and imitate her strong accent,
as I reiterate her words.

But I didn’t.
Why?
Because, I am a nice guy.

Then I learned that,
She wasn’t even the one doing the interviews.
She was just to prepare the papers.

It’s amazing how people act,
When given a little bit of power and authority.

This is for the Credit Card Company that keeps on calling me.
Do you have to call me freakin’ 5 times a day??

Even at 9:00 at night?
Or 7:00 in the morning?

And why don’t you leave a message?
It couldn’t be “that” important, could it?

How would I know if you’re not selling me anything?

I will not answer the phone, you freak!!
You’ll get your money when I get it!!

On a Random Note:
Does anyone have any experience selling stuff on eBay?
If you do, Please let me know.