It has been 9 years since my Mother passed.
As I sit here remembering her life, love, wisdom and warmth, it is impossible to ignore the void left behind by her absence.
In my opinion, losing a parent is like losing a compass that always pointed towards love and understanding.
The journey without them is very challenging.
No matter how much time has passed.
Someday you will meet someone who will love you unconditionally and could never get enough of you.
Sure it may be a cat but that’s not the point.
For a couple of nights now, I have been dreaming about trying to contact my parents.
Both of whom have already passed.
Last night, I was trying to call my Mother on the phone and this guy who answered won’t tell me her whereabouts.
One time, I dreamt about looking for my Father as well. And I just couldn’t find him.
This has been happening more often lately and every time it does,
I just want to go to where they were to be with them.
In my mind, I wanted to tell them I was tired and just want to rest.
Being in their presence gives me a sense of calmness.
They have always listened to me when I tell them my heartaches and pain.
I hate it so much when I dream about them but I can’t have any interactions.
It has been many years since they passed.
And I still feel as lost as ever.
It’s my Father’s birth date today and like I’ve said before, I share little stories about him so he will never be forgotten.
Dad was a big fan of music and arts. He has influenced me greatly with the way I listen to different genres and how to appreciate them.
Mostly because he would crank his stereo system on full blast on a Saturday morning while I nurse a massive hangover.
So wether I liked it or not, I got used to listening to a mixture of songs from The Police, to Everly Brothers and all the way to a roaring Pavarotti.
Dad contributed a lot to the music in my life.
But, this picture here is his music.
My siblings.
His Magnum Opus.
And it’s my favourite one of all time.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
I miss you lots.
My awesome friend, Anne from Herschelle.net sent me another set of postcards
from wherever in the world she was in.
I have mentioned this many times before on all my social media handles,
but let me tell you how much this one means to me.
I have not been in a good place mentally lately.
And by “Lately” I mean a couple of years. (Maybe three or four)
Everything seems to be not going my way.
There has been a lot of disappointments, heartaches and hurt.
Music hasn’t helped.
Binge watching and binge eating hasn’t helped.
Even prayers didn’t help.
I have been so angry and furious at everything
that I seem to be numb and desensitized from any joy life can bring.
There is always something to mess you up,
no matter how much you work, strive, pray and hope.
But today was different.
When I got these cards in the mail, I got reminded of good friends.
Good friends who lift you up even when they’re thousands of miles away.
Friends who never forget you and truly know your worth.
Anne here had to go through the trouble of picking these postcards.
Taking her time to write, then go to the post office, spend money and mail them.
People like her are rare and should be cherished.
I do cherish her a lot even though we haven’t seen each other in years.
She never gets tired of sending me these cards and I would never take it for granted.
Thank you again, Anne.
Your kindness and thoughtfulness has truly made your friend’s day.
According to my “On This Day” reminder, I made this video cover 12 years ago.
You see, the thing about me posting old stuff is so that I can recollect what I was in my past.
Don’t get me wrong.
I hate being reminded of the shitty things that happened in my life.
Or the shitty things I have done on purpose.
This post is not about those.
It’s about the good ones. The good ones are more than welcome.
Like this Video I recorded.
It reminded me that I used to play guitar and can actually sing a complete song.
It also showed me that I read the Twilight series books,
as seen on that bookshelf behind me.
Yes! I actually read them as opposed to the other “To Read” pile of books on my GoodReads account.
Oh, and that shirt I was wearing.
I LOVE that shirt! I still have that to this day.
Sure, it may be so worn out and plagued with holes, but I still wear it.
Unlike Jacob from Twilight who refuses to wear one, but that’s beside the point.
My point from all of this is that I am old
and need to be reminded of who I was from time to time.
Like, get new shirts.
Maybe read a book.
Contrary to popular belief, I actually do have friends.
Sure, all of them may be thousands of miles away from me,
but that’s not important right now.
Jojo is one of those friends who still tolerates me and was kind enough to provide the lead voice on this Filipino Classic we covered 14 years ago today.
It’s a song by Sharon Cuneta titled, “Kahit Maputi Ang Buhok Ko.”
(Even when my hair turns gray/white)
Basically, it’s a song about one’s promise of love even when they grow old and their hair turns gray.
Much like how my friends still like me even though my hair is all gone.
But that’s also not important right now.
Anyways, check out this song and our other song collaborations.
To my fellow Mandalorian fanatics.
Season 3 starts today,
so let me share this audition photo
Nori and I submitted to Disney.
I didn’t get the part, of course.
But they did call and asked about the cat.
